other options

So with infertility comes looking at other options. I met with a lady from DSS today to discuss foster care and adoption. Ideally, we would be able to adopt a child who's ready for permanent placement. Ideally, the child would be younger. Ideally, that child would have little trauma history. Ideally, ideally, ideally. I'm also aware that ideal is not likely. What will come will come. However, this lady was so negative I walked out of there crying.

I'm a social worker, I know how and why children come into care in DSS. I know that the system is not perfect. I know that it's a challenging calling. I also know that if I didn't have fertility issues I likely would still have considered foster care/adoption. So, when she's sitting there telling me all about how it's unlikely we'll be able to adopt from foster care in the county, that even adopting an older child may not happen and that all the children have a ton of trauma history it's opening up healing wounds. I know it's going to be a process. I know that it's not going to be all positive and rainbows and roses. I do know that DSS worker also says that we don't have enough foster care parents in the county and that they send kids out of county. I also know that there are kids who need permanent placements, and forever families. It's good to be reminded, but I really don't think this should've been her focus. It was painful. And she was so burnt out from her job it showed. I never wanted to work at DSS as a social worker, and my life never led me in that direction, so I can only imagine what her work-life is like.

I did speak with a colleague after this and she had a lot of helpful comments and suggestions. We begin our training in July. It's a week long training that begins the process, which includes home visits, medical sign-offs, financial inspections, etc. Once we're approved for the county we're approved for the state, and also any child out of state who is approved to move.

I'm excited about this prospect, but also a bit overwhelmed. One step at a time...