Fostering Experience Part 4

Red flag number 2, a pretty big one, is that neither of them listen. At all. The 3 yo would initially listen, but that lasted about a week. And he was unpunishable. We tried every possible method there is with no results. The kid is 3. Sigh.

The 7 yo also wouldn't listen. They're both pushing limits on how far they can go with us. I learned through this experience that I give in too easily, but sometimes I would just rather deal with it than fight. I was so tired of fighting. I took the kid to Walgreens and he saw a fancy lollipop he wanted. Normal kid "I want" fight, I didn't back down on this one. This kid ran away. First, he ran behind the ATM and then outside, towards the parking lot. He luckily stops on the sidewalk (he's smart and again, manipulative). We have a conversation and eventually he gets in the car with me, but this is a several a-day fight. It's extreme and exhausting, but I still love being a parent. I love these kids with my whole being.

We go to an orchard that has a corn maze. He runs away. The kid runs away in a maze. Understandable excitement, except there's just so many of these moments. And they're scary.

I take the kids with a friend and her kids to a big truck event. They are good - until lunch. I'm getting the food. My friend is minding the kids. He starts climbing up the greenhouse. He doesn't listen to her or me. I have a conversation with him in the bathroom after he wet himself (which actually may have inadvertently calmed him down more than my conversation). The rest of the afternoon actually went ok. 

So far, I'm finding that anytime he wants anything that triggers him beyond what most kids would act. It becomes a serious fight and destructive behavior that ends up with him not listening and sometimes involving his brother in semi-destructive behavior.

One day, I was so over the kids not listening that I sat on the couch while hubby was cooking, and told both boys to sit and not move until dinner was ready. It was about 10 minutes. We didn't move. I was so over it. I hit my limit. I'm going to go back to my regret- not taking off work. We truly needed to bond more as a family, I needed more downtime, and hubby needed it as well. Do I think it would've changed the outcome? Absolutely not, but I do think I would have been more sane.

He goes to therapy once a week. The therapist and I discuss diagnoses. We're both pretty sure the kid may have ODD and RAD. This could be interesting. If you're not in the child, therapeutic field, do an internet search. 

Also, supposedly we're still in the "honeymoon" period according to studies. I would very much disagree and say that for us it lasted 2 weeks tops.