Fostering Experience Part 1

It's taken me a while- nearly a year to write about our foster experience. There's been a lot of grief and anger. Mostly anger. I want to start from the beginning. I'm not going to back date. I'm going to write in retrospect. I was too angry to write after the experience. I was too overwhelmed to write during the experience. What I can tell you about the experience is I have ZERO regrets fostering. I have few regrets on how we parented. I have many regrets for not telling my story sooner.

I learned a lot. I learned about parenting. I learned about patience. I learned more about my husband and my marriage. I learned. I experienced and I am a better person for it. I just hope and pray the two boys that we fostered also gained something from the experience.

One thing I really, really regret is that I did not take time off work. It was the beginning of the school year which is a busy time for me. I had a new boss. It was not a good time, but here's the thing about work- it's just work. I was raising two little boys who needed me and I needed my sanity. My biggest regret.

We met the boys, ages 3 & 6 at their current foster home end of August 2019. They lived there throughout the summer and she was pregnant and couldn't handle a bio toddler, and the two boys and a new baby. Very understandable. "Timing" DSS said. This was also their third home since November (it's always a "timing" issue per DSS; the first home, was just a quiet home and the boys are boys, then someone got sick, the second home was always supposed to be temporary... the third home... well, she turned out to be pregnant). This saying of "timing" is quite important, because I truly feel that DSS wasn't honest with us. I'm not sure how honest the current foster parents were either, but I also think they were trying their best to create a picture for us. We met the kids, went to the park and had ice cream. We learned the oldest can be what you expect from a foster kid. The current foster family felt they would go to adopt. DSS said it was likely to go pre-adopt. I was ready to go. Hubby was not. Hubby felt there was a lot missing. I'm more optimistic on this, he's more real. He went with me.

Move in happened Sept. 7th.

Background on parents: Dad in jail for DV and Mom in jail for drugs, theft. Dad hasn't had contact with kids in years (been in jail before youngest born). Mom has been in and out of jail most of her adult life. Kids were with family before going into foster care, but taken out of care due to child abuse.