advice people will give

You wouldn't believe the advice people try to give in regards to infertility, adoption, and everything in between, or beyond. I want it to be funny, but it's really, truly not.

• Relax
• Nope, just nope. Do not ever say this to someone dealing with infertility
• You can always adopt
• Yes, yes we can and we likely will, but a child through adoption is not the same as a biological child. It's completely a different thing. If you never adopted, would you like me to ask you why you never adopted a child? Because that's kind of what it's like.
• Why are you crying? Stop.
• Because I am dammit. And that's okay.
• What about getting an embryo, or having a surrogate?
• First of all, it's expensive. Secondly, these are two different things. And I can carry a child, I could do egg donor, but I don't want to go that route. And it costs $30k. Thirdly, these things aren't as easy as you think they are. 
• Oh, have you heard about (adoption service here).
• Actually, this one isn't that bad. IF I told you we were looking into adoption. I don't mind learning about all my options. However, most private adoption services cost anywhere from $20k-50k. So unless, you intend on funding this adoption, don't go beyond giving me the resource.
• I don't want to hear about this anymore
• Okay, fine. But you need to just say this nicer. Plus, if my infertility is making you uncomfortable... you may want to think about why.
• Oh, I'm sure your husband doesn't mind trying all the time.
• Yeah, just no. 
• You're not a mother so you wouldn't know what I go through
• No I'm not, but that doesn't mean that I don't have experience with children. I've been a nanny, a babysitter, and I also went to freaking school to be a social worker, which includes classes in child development. So no, I'm not a mother, but that doesn't mean I'm ignorant.

I guess most of this goes along the lines of don't give advice unless asked. It's nice to be supportive, provide appropriate resources, but unless asked don't give advice. It's hard, I know. I truly know. If you're uncomfortable and don't want to talk about the person's infertility, just say so. "I know you're going through a lot right now, and I want to be here for you, but I can't understand what you're going through and it's too hard for me." It's hard on us too, but we don't want to burden you if you can't be supportive.

There's so much more on this list. Feel free to add more if you've gone through this too.