Diary of a Barren(ish) Woman; Part 6

Or what I'd like to rename- numbers are everything.

And age.

And money.

Today I spent $120 on vitamins. Yes, vitamins. Apparently, I'm late in the game on this one, and should've been told to take these a while ago, but CoQ10 vitamins are supposed to help me with the vitality of my eggs. Apparently it's supposed to make my eggs think they're younger. And I'm supposed to take them for at least 2 months. Well, we are supposed to start IVF in one month so... as I said, late in the game.

We met with the NP today for the "IVF talk." This is after watching videos last night about all the risks that could happen. I kid you not, my husband was gray watching them. He's pretty freaked out about the whole giving me a shot thing. And the possibility of my death. Which was mentioned several times in the video. And he asked the NP about it today. Apparently, the highest risk of death is people with PCOS. Which I don't have, so hey, one more good thing going for us. The NP was super nice, but yet again, all the numbers. So many numbers.

I'm not terrible at math. But it's easier for me to round. But here's the numbers:

I have a 40% chance of having enough eggs for an egg retrieval

Then there's a certain percentage of the eggs becoming embryos. This is depending on the vitality of my eggs it seems and whether or not his sperm works the way it's supposed to on demand.

After that I have a 30% chance of the embryos implanting.

And then either a 20 or 30% chance of miscarriage, or a 20 or 30% chance of non-miscarriage. I actually don't recall. When I said, so basically, if I have enough eggs to retrieve, then I have about a 50% chance... right? No, not even close. My husband informs me this is not how statistics works. The NP said "well, you have to be optimistic." So I spent $120 to make my eggs vital. That's where I start today. We will continue getting through each day. I will take my vitamins: prenatal, Vit D3, and CoQ10.

At this point, I'm done with appointments for a while. Next step= next cycle and then it begins. I will take the doctor's advice and drink and be merry for the holidays because hopefully I won't be able to partake in adult beverages for at least 9 months.