stress

I am not living my 'best life' as Oprah would say. Ever since I started grad school I haven't felt like myself. Before starting grad school I had a job I was good at, enjoyed my co-workers, liked the organization. I decided to move on so that I could become more experienced and ultimately be able to change the world. Seriously. It's a little more complicated than that of course.
I'm going off base. I have decided I need to live my best life. I have to. I am miserable with how I'm living now. I don't do the things I enjoy as much as I used to. I need to change that. Those were the things that made me happy, made me keep going. I say that it's financial, that's why I can't do it. It also is time management. Literally, I have no time. I need to budget (literally) in these things that make me happy. I miss belly dance to death. I miss a yoga community. Heck, church is free and I haven't even found a spiritual community. Besides wanting to sleep in Sunday morning, there is no reason for me not to attend.
So, having said that I'm going to work on living my best life and it begins today.... okay tomorrow since it's almost 11pm and I need to go to bed. But regardless it begins. Technically, I did yoga this morning, it was so lovely and needed. I haven't been steady about doing yoga so much. So it's already started. I am living my best life. It's just that I'm so stressed. How can I live my best life with stress so high my hair is falling out, my back is tight and my shoulders are by my ears.... ::sigh:: I will find the time for me. I have to.
One thing that helps is that my friends and I have a Friday night dinner. I'm excited about that. That's tomorrow. I get my haircut on Saturday... there's another thing for ME and hanging out with family most of the day. I'm going to blog weekly about how I am living my best life.

current random thoughts... with the understanding I'm supposed to be doing homework

Oprah had Ali whatever her name is and for whatever reason is on Oprah because I guess she's married to George Stephenopolis or whatever his name is. Anyway, Ali was talking about "white girls hair" and talking to people who dye their hair and have several different people to tip when going to the salon. Ali made it sound like this was an actual everyday occurrence for all white women. I would have to say that it is not that common. Heck, I go to the cosmetology school...

OMG Beyone's sister just admitted to spending $40-50,000/yr on her hair. Geez!!!!

Oprah just showed a picture of herself without her hair done or make-up on. She looks so different than when she's on the show.

As I was driving to the grocery store I was approx. 5 feet from a fire station when the fire truck turned on their lights and pulled out. Then the fireman flipped me off cuz I had to throw on my brakes. How was I supposed to know you were going to pull out? There should be some sort of warning there. I get you people are in a hurry but pretty sure if you crumpled someone it would probably cause you to not get there on time.

I find it completely sad that I got excited that it's cold enough to put flannel sheets on my bed. I'm not saying I am excited about the weather, just the sheets.

I have found that grad school is not conducive to a healthy, happy lifestyle. It makes me miss undergrad so much. Undergrad consists of making friends, hanging out, partying, and occasionally studying. Grad school consists of studying, studying, studying, and the occasional hang out with friends, while usually carrying around a book just in case you have time to read.

Why do undergrads insist on using "air quotes" in papers?

My current way to relax is playing solitaire bananagrams (thanks Emily!!!). I find it interesting that having to think is relaxing.

I think my life is jinxed. When I get too excited about things and tell too many people, it doesn't happen. I even remember the first memory I have when this happened. Oh well.

Last night I came across So You Think You Can Dance. I didn't realize it was on Tuesdays too. I wonder how many episodes I missed. Good thing the audition part isn't that important... and sometimes not really that interesting. And is it just me or does this season's auditions seem to be taking FOREVER?

the dog ran away... again

So my summer consists of me babysitting/nannying/helping taking care of a family member's children... however you wanna put it. This was part of my day, which probably was about 10 minutes, but felt like time stood still. This story includes: 2 year old (A), the mommy (K), and dog (J).

Background: Mommy is spending the day building a shelf in the garage. I am making lunch. It's a crappy day outside so getting kids dressed is not on the top of the list. 2 year old decides he wants to see his mommy. I tell him he has to get dressed. He doesn't want to so I tell him he can get dressed or I will carry him to see where his mommy is. He says: carry me. I do. He now sees where his mommy is. I carry him back in the house, he says that he wants to stay outside, I remind him he needs clothes and shoes on. He stands by backdoor looking for his shoes (they are not there).

And scene: Lunch is ready. Realize I have not heard from A (2 year old) for a while (10 minutes maybe) and go look for him, first family room, not there. Then walked outside and again, he's not there. Uh-oh. I go back in the house (avoiding mom so she doesn't realize I may have lost one of her children) and yell for him, "A." "Yeah." Yay!!! "Where are you?" "upstairs" Huh. Okay.
I go to the stairs where he is coming down with one sock on, his pj top still on, and a pair of rubber boots in his hands. Okay, so he was listening about the whole getting dressed thing. "um, A, you only have one sock on." He gives me this know-it-all look and pulls out a pair of socks from one of his boots. Huh. Then he pulls out a pair of shorts. He gets himself dressed (for the most part). By the way, he totally got clothes that completely match, navy socks and shorts, red, white and navy shirt and navy and red boots... seriously. He can now go out to mommy. Except lunch is ready, but whatever. I decide that I will follow him so I can let K (mom) know that lunch is ready and to make sure that he doesn't get into anything (ie: power tools) on his way. He goes out the back door, the dog goes out the back door, I go out the back door. We walk into the garage through the garage's back door. K's not there. We walk to the front of the garage. I realize K must have gone in through the front door. I decide we'll go too.
At this point, I realize that the dog is now in the driveway, not in the nice fenced in backyard. The dog realizes this at the EXACT same time. Crap.
"J (dog), NO." J runs. She stops halfway up the driveway. I get the stern Alpha woman voice. I think the dog is coming back... A goes running after J. Crap. Dog now thinks this is a game. I start yelling at the dog. Then at A, "go get your mommy." I see dog at end of driveway, from past experience I know not to go after dog as I know dog will run. A is looking at me. "Go get your mommy or sister." He moves crazy slow (or so it seemed to me... he is only 2). I'm screaming for the dog, for the mom, for the sister, for A to get said mommy or sister. My heart is in my throat. My brain has stopped working, no flight or fright, just complete and utter FREAKING OUT! A is still climbing the front stairs (okay, I know his little legs can only go so fast). I'm wondering if I should go inside, but no then I won't be able to see the dog and I can see the dog at the end of the driveway... A starts crying, he tripped up the stairs (he's okay, don't worry). I am now torn: watch dog or help A. Mommy comes through the door. Hallelujah!!! A follows her, I'm praying he doesn't go into the road but I'm still in this stuck position and am scared to move and freak the dog out. I was still in sprinting distance if something happened. K gets dog. Lunch is ready. All is well. I think this could not have been more than 10 minutes (probably even closer to 5) but it was like time stopped. What did I learn from this: continue to be mindful of more than self.

Texting

I'm not sure if this is an age thing, something that has to do with the difference of generations, or just plain old manners. I don't see why people use texting so often. Let me tell you when I find it appropriate and inappropriate. I'm not a fan of texting clearly so I'm a bit biased toward what is appropriate and inappropriate but I feel that texting does not take place of a conversation nor should it be done while in a conversation. It's plain rude.

Appropriate:
You are trying to connect with a friend or a group of friends and unable to locate them and you know they are in a loud environment.
To quickly give information that for whatever reason you would be unable to email the person. I don't even have an example of this so this shouldn't have to happen very often.
You know the person enjoys and uses texting all the time. If you don't, don't text them. Call them.
In an emergency.

Inappropriate:
When you are at dinner.
When you are driving.
When you are hanging with another friend and you are not to meet up with texting friend.
To inform someone that you are going to call them. Seriously, just call them.
Instead of the first phone call when moving from emailing off a dating website. Seriously, it's not any different than email really is it?
Instead of calling someone, really, it's not the same.
When you know the person you are texting is driving.
In class. Even if the teacher is boring, it's still rude.
In movie theaters, the light is still distracting to the people sitting behind you.

I think that is about it. I understand that there are people that enjoy texting and they think that it is a good form of communication. I would have to say that it is not a form of good communication. You may feel connected via text but if this is the only way of communication then you are not communicating effectively. It also is a strange standard in relationships and due to texts and emailing over the phone people are becoming rude and I feel that we need to begin again and set new standards of etiquette. or maybe go back to old school manners...

Worst. Date. Ever.

This date was last Thursday...
I just went on the worst date of my life. Ever. Seriously, the worst date ever. And trust me I’ve been on a lot of dates; too many to count. I’ve dated men from every Internet site imaginable, been on blind dates, group dates, met random guys at bars, restaurants, even one on an Amtrak train. Seriously. I’ve been on a lot of dates and they all run the gamut. But this one took the cake tonight. It was awful. Eric is not a looker, and talking on the phone I could even feel that this was probably not going to go so well, but you never know who’s the one and meeting for drinks is not so bad… usually. First, let me also say that this is the fourth first date we’ve scheduled, which was the biggest red flag: that our schedules didn’t connect. Let me also tell you that every phone conversation we’ve had has revolved around movies, he always started the conversation saying a movie he just saw and asking if I liked horror movies, I don’t and told him each time. Then he would go on to say that he heard Sex and the City the movie is really risqué. After asking him the first time we had this conversation I knew that he never saw not only the movie, but never saw an episode of the show. He would go on to say, “I never saw it, but heard it’s like a soft porn.” Oh my. Red flag number two and popping up every time he mentions it, which again, is every single phone conversation.

So he calls me as he’s driving to the restaurant and it turns out both of us are a block away from different directions. I parked first and he said, “I’ll meet you on the corner.” So I stand on the corner waiting for him for a few seconds as he parks, walks around his car to apparently look at it, then walks toward me. To avoid that whole awkward situation, as he’s walking toward me I ask him how his day was and he responds, he continues to walk past me. Wait, did I just start talking to a random stranger. No that doesn’t seem right, what’s going on here? I continue to talk to him about his day and he’s still walking in front of me. Now I just feel like a puppy dog that has decided to follow Mr. Unattractive into a bar. Great. He leads me into the bar, without any recognition yet or really any acknowledgment besides answering my questions. Then he says, “You want to sit at the bar?” Oh good, I’m not talking to a random person who thinks I’m crazy, just following my idiot date. He then leads me to the bar, without acknowledging the poor hostess… great manners man. And sits in a chair, one side of which is a person, the other side a dirty glass. Uh, okay, so I guess I’m sitting at the dirty glass seat.

Conversation begins, drinks gotten. Conversation ceases, completely dies. I’m watching a football game, ask him if he can see the score. Then realize that it’s almost June, why is football on? So I ask him. He looks at me like I’m an alien, “it’s recorded.” Oh, okay, whatever. Dead. He decides he wants food. Great, I’m going to be stuck with this guy for another 30 minutes at least. He says something about the chicken nachos, I said that I don’t eat chicken but if he gets them on the side that I would help him eat them. He apparently doesn’t hear me except for the fact that I don’t eat chicken. I order the happy hour nachos after he orders his big ass nachos with chicken. Idiot. Oh, and in case I forget later, he of course doesn’t finish them. So, now at least I can eat and don’t have to talk. Geesh.
I’m still trying to drag out conversation; it’s like pulling teeth. I don’t think this guy has any ability to carry on conversation. I ask him where his parents are from, “Grafton.” I say, “Oh, I went to Target there yesterday.” He, again, looks at me like I’m an alien, “why’d you go way up there.” Way up there is 20 minutes north. I said, “To go to Target, I was up in the area anyway,” and went on to say why. He then says, “Did you go to buy lingerie?” I, thinking he’s joking says, “Yeah, because Target has such a great lingerie department.” He wasn’t joking. Oh my.

Oh, that is not the lowest of the conversations. No not at all. He decided to talk to me about cell phones and asked me how I like texting. I don’t and inform him. He says, “What about picture texting?” Um, okay, picture texting? Whatever, I go with it. “Sure,” I say, “I suppose it would depend why one is sending the picture.” He goes on to tell me a story that one of his friends was dating a girl and another friend decided to take a picture of his balls (and proceeded to inform me that balls means testicles) and send it to the friend who was dating said girl and label it “your girlfriend.” HAHAHA. Hilarious. I say, “Why?” He says, “It was funny.” I asked if they didn’t like the girlfriend. He said that they do (apparently guy and girl are still together). I said I didn’t think that she would appreciate it too much. He said, “It wasn’t for her.” End of conversation.

Then I start talking about my trip and said that I’m visiting a friend and we always get massages when we see each other. Oh, why did I say that?!?!? Why, oh why?!?!? Somehow, this goes into a conversation about Speedos. No idea how. And he proceeds to tell me that he would never wear Speedos because he would not want to shave “down there.” Durr. Then he continued to talk about shaving his balls (which thank goodness now I know he’s talking about his testicles, glad we had the earlier conversation) and how he wouldn’t do that and why he wouldn’t. Thanks.

I proceed to the bathroom. Call my friend Sara and ask her to HELP! She reminds me I promised to help her move. Right. Get back to the bar and he says, “What are you up to tonight?” Ha, great, my excuse: “I promised a friend I would help her move.” Eric, “Tonight? When?” Me: “Yes, now.” He then says, “Oh, I thought you’d invite me over tonight.” HA!
We then deal with the bill and somehow I end up paying way more than I should have. And for once I don’t care because I don’t want to be with this person one more second. We leave and I say, ever so politely, “Nice meeting you” while walking fast the other direction. He belches… loudly. Nice. Then says that he’ll be in contact with me. Yup, sure.
This was my Worst. Date. Ever. And I can honestly say that if I ever have a date like this again I will become a nun.

To make things worse, dude turns out to be in a social group that I'm in. Great. May end up seeing him in the future.

Welcome

Welcome to my blog. It's been in my brain for quite some time. I did a yoga blog, wanted to follow up on that but never followed through since grad school has kind of incinerated my brain. So this blog is going to be my randomness. My friends Celest and Nikki's husbands always inform me that I'm in my own world. You are now here :) Welcome!

This blog may be daily, weekly, monthly, eh... whenever I remember it exists. It'll be about my life, my dates (ha), yoga, belly dance, thoughts, tasks, people encountered, etc. I hope if you enjoy, hate, have a thought about my blog you will comment. Be nice though, even if you hate it you can still inform me nicely.

So sit back and enjoy! Peace, Robyn