Twilight... my opinions

Years ago, my sisters told me I have to read Twilight series. I told them I watched the movie and hated it. For one thing, the chick is whiny and needy and only 17. She does not need to be revolving her life around boys, particularly boys who really aren't good for her. I mean, come on, is there not one boy in that school that doesn't want to kill you for your blood? You really can't be attracted to him? Anyway, I'm getting off topic. They said Ah, the first movie wasn't very good, but the book, the book is amazing. I tried reading it. I got it from the library and everything. And it was written terribly. I mean, grammar issues galore. Now, I'm not the best writer and I do read trash on occasion, but I could not continue reading this. Again, the lead is just this whiny chick who's annoying.

So now I'm told, oh, just keep going, try, it gets better. So yesterday I watched the second movie. I have decided that Bella (I'm pretty sure that's the whiny chick's name) has schizophrenia. Let me break it down for you. (As aside, even if she does not have schizophrenia, she is a teenager and her frontal lobe is still developing, which is not a good time to make a big decision, such as becoming immortal. Schizophrenia is a serious mental illness. I am not making fun of schizophrenia or people with schizophrenia, and please don't find this offensive because it's meant to be fun since I'm diagnosing a fictional character. Although, if you or someone you know fits the below criteria please speak with a licensed professional who can help.) Now onto the diagnosis:

1) She is at the proper age for females to develop schizophrenia.
2) She's had a lot of stress in her life, a move, her mother remarrying, whatever else she whines about.
3) She seems a bit of a loner and isolates herself socially.

So here's the diagnostic criteria with my highlighted thoughts of Bella (I took out some extra stuff that I deemed unnecessary, but if you want the full criteria go to wikipedia or see the DSM IV TR):

According to the revised fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR), to be diagnosed with schizophrenia, three diagnostic criteria must be met:^[70]

1. Characteristic symptoms: Two or more of the following, each present for much of the time during a one-month period (or less, if symptoms remitted with treatment).
   • Delusions- she thinks her friends are vampires and werewolves and nobody except said vampires and werewolves are aware of them
   • Hallucinations - she takes risks to see the vampire dude (not Jacob, the pale guy)
   • Grossly disorganized behavior (e.g. dressing inappropriately, crying frequently) or catatonic behavior- she screams in pain when lying in bed, crying, doesn't go out for months (or so it appears)
   • Negative symptoms: Blunted affect (lack or decline in emotional response), alogia (lack or decline in speech), or avolition (lack or decline in motivation) - she seriously lacks in motivation until she realizes she can hallucinate if she takes risks and then she starts to hang with another guy to help her take said risks (who by the way turns out to be a werewolf, so yeah...)
2. Social or occupational dysfunction: For a significant portion of the time since the onset of the disturbance, one or more major areas of functioning such as work, interpersonal relations, or self-care, are markedly below the level achieved prior to the onset. - hello? See above. She isolated herself for months, crying and apparently in pain.
3. Significant duration: Continuous signs of the disturbance persist for at least six months. This six-month period must include at least one month of symptoms (or less, if symptoms remitted with treatment). - so far it appears to have gone on for 2 years, at least the delusions.