Baltimore versus Milwaukee

I moved from Baltimore to attend school in Milwaukee. This decision was surprisingly easy to make. I think I was ready for change. I knew I needed to attend school to further my career and this was the right step for me at the time. I said some very sad good-byes to my friends who have become my family. I quit my job, which I loved. I quit teaching yoga, which I loved. I simply really loved my life in Baltimore. Except my family was hundreds of miles away and I rarely saw them. I took one last look at my apartment (that was hard, I loved, loved, loved my apartment) and I moved.

Since moving to Milwaukee I attended and graduated from school. I found a job. I have a couple good friends here (and one in IL). I'm closer than ever to my family, including extended family. My nephew is the love of my life and I get to see him nearly every month. However, I'm not fully myself here. I simply don't feel like myself. There's just something missing. And I think it's my friends.

People ask me which city I love more and I can't tell them. They are completely different cities. People in Milwaukee are nicer than people in Baltimore (sorry, it's true there's a harshness about people there). Milwaukee's cleaner in general. Baltimore has more diversity, more things to do outside. Milwaukee has great summer festivals. Milwaukee has cold winters (or usually they do). Baltimore has sweltering summers.

So where am I going with this? Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is bliss. I spent a week in Florida trying to figure out bliss... happiness, contentment, and it leads me back to my location. Is my bliss in Milwaukee or Baltimore? It simply comes down to Family versus Friends. Literally. I cannot decide. Granted I have a job in Milwaukee. Yes, I'd have to get a job there, but these are factors that can be controlled. This whole topic makes me cry every single time I think about it. I'm tearing up now. For no reason at all. I can't figure it out. I am so ridiculously torn between staying in Milwaukee and trying to find a job and moving to Baltimore. It's kind of who matters to me more... family or friends and I cannot answer that question. I'm not unhappy here, it's just that I'm not satisfied. And I don't think I ever was. Would I be satisfied in Baltimore though? or is it something internal that isn't right? Again, questions I can't answer. Going back to Baltimore would mean only seeing my family once a year. Revolving vacations around family visits. That sucked. A lot. Staying here means not seeing my friends but once  a year. They are my family too. I still don't get to see most of them when I visit once a year. It's hard.

When I moved here, it really was an easy decision. I didn't know if I was going to stay after I graduated (honestly, I don't think I expected the economy to affect jobs this much and I thought finding a job would be easier, but that's a whole other topic). Why is staying here such a hard one?

The one thing that made me start thinking more about this is kind of weird, but when I lived in Baltimore most of my friends were vegetarian. It was easy to find vegetarian food there. I had no problems. It is not easy being vegetarian in WI. I have never had so many people say to me "being vegetarian is not healthy." I am one of those vegetarians where I do not care if meat touches my veggie burger or if there's meat broth in a soup. I am vegetarian for ethical reasons. I simply don't think I could kill an animal and then skin it, cook it and then eat it. I just don't think I could, therefore why should I eat it. I don't force my beliefs on anyone. I would never tell someone that what they're eating is unhealthy, or why eating meat is unhealthy or all the crap they do to the animals or what they put in meat to process it. It's not who I am. I HATE it when people do that to me. It's unfair, being vegetarian is a choice that I made and I don't ever judge people's choices. I'm at the point where if one more person says this to me I will move back to Baltimore. Just to be away from this mindset. If a doctor would tell me that I need to eat meat, that's one thing. But for a friend or family to tell me I should start eating meat is really starting to piss me off. So there's reason #1 to move... vegetarianism.